I was delighted to learn of the decision of the Bruce-Grey Catholic District School Board to fly the Pride Flag this June. I have been a Catholic educator for almost 40 years, and I have recently been involved in some positive conversations around equity and inclusion in my own school board (Huron-Perth Catholic) and although our board has not yet committed to fly the Pride Flag – I feel good about the trajectory of the conversations. There are many good things happening in Catholic schools across the province as GSAs in a number of schools prepare to celebrate Pride Month. This is a good thing.

When reaching out to learn more about the conversations taking place in Bruce-Grey, I stumbled upon the objections that have been voiced by Fr. Wojtek Kuzma in two public statements and I would like to respond.

Fr. Kuzma’s letter and his unfortunate choice of words brings me back to a homily at my local parish back in 2004 as Catholic communities navigated the discussion around the legalization of same sex marriage. The Pastor in our Parish voiced his opposition emphatically.

“ Same sex marriage is sinful …. Attending a ceremony is sinful….renting a hall to a same-sex couple is sinful ….” He went on and on. I reject the notion that any of these things are sinful.

I had many good friends and family members who would have been very hurt by those words. I wish I had stood up and called him out; or at the very least, I wished I had mustered up the courage to walk out.

Instead, I did nothing.
I sat there silently.
That was sinful.
Silence is complicity.

Almost two decades later, my resolve has been strengthened by the courage and resilience of so many amazing 2SLGBTQ+ students. Their shared experiences of homophobia and bullying have convinced me that as bad as I thought things were – they are actually much worse. The students stories of being physically and verbally bullied and harassed (hate-crimed is the way some students describe their experience) at school and online are deeply disturbing. Sadly, the bullying often comes disguised as Religion from respected leaders. These words are the most hurtful, and this brings me to the public statements issued by Fr. Kuzma.

In his statements, Fr. Kuzma labels arguments against his stance as childish and simplistic. He calls on people of good faith to stand tall and focus on doing what is right and true – clearly implying that 2SLGBTQ+ individuals are selfishly doing what feels good for themselves. The implication is that the bullies are standing tall and being true to their faith while the victims are the ones acting selfishly. I realize that this is not Fr. Kuzma’s intent, but words hurt. The suggestion that those who refuse to display symbols affirming the 2SLGBTQ+ community are somehow staying true to God is incredibly hurtful and damaging to young people who feel shamed for their very identity.

Today, 2SLGBTQ+ youth face countless obstacles in our schools and across society. This has been confirmed time and time again by countless school climate studies. Higher rates of depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive and phobic disorders, suicidality, self-harm, and substance use are found among 2SLGBTQ+ youth. These realities can be magnified in Catholic schools where some feel that there homophobic disposition is supported by church doctrine. This is particularly sad, and I believe this is a terrible distortion of Jesus’ modelling of inclusion and equity in the Gospels.

Despite these alarming statistics, there is hope. GSAs (Gay-Straight Alliances) are doing great things in many schools across the province. My own Catholic community is finally seeing the development of our first GSA and these clubs bring hope to the students. 2SLGBTQ+ students are increasingly seeing signs of support and recognizing allies within their school community. This is so important.

2SLGBTQ+ students need educators to explicitly and visibly support, respect, include, and validate them – all of which is exactly what every student in every school wants and is entitled to expect. By acknowledging and celebrating Pride, the Bruce-Grey Catholic District School Board is taking an important step to walk beside their students. One could suggest that they are trying to let their light shine as their vision statement proclaims.

By no means is this positive gesture the end of a long struggle – but it is an important step in my opinion. I do believe in Catholic education, but we have much work to do. Intentional use of symbols helps to move us to a space where we are no longer tolerating people in spite of who they are, but truly celebrating people because of who they are. We still have to address systemic homophobia in our curriculum and we have to work harder to acknowledge and celebrate the incredible contributions of so many amazing 2SLGBTQ+ individuals in our classrooms. The students in school GSAs can be our teachers as we undertake this important work.

Fr. Kuzma and I can find some common ground. In his most recent letter, he described Jesus as being truly inclusive, loving and salvific. I absolutely agree – and I am convinced that the Jesus we encounter in the Gospels would not be standing with those Catholic groups holding signs angrily denouncing the school board’s efforts to celebrate Pride. Rather, I believe that Jesus would proudly walk beside the 2SLGBTQ+ youth in our schools as they challenge systemic homophobia by walking in the Pride parade and proudly holding up a flag that declares to the world – I am proud to be the person God created me to be. I am proud to walk beside these amazing people as well.

I wholeheartedly support the decision of the Bruce-Grey Catholic District School Board to raise the Pride Flag this June.

Tim O’Connor
St. Marys, Ontario