“Treat others the way you want to be treated.” The golden rule. We use it to help children figure out how to behave. “Would you like to be hit?” we ask the child who vigorously shakes their head. “Then, don’t hit.”
The golden rule enables experiential learning as we—child and adult—can draw from the feelings an action stimulates in us. At first, we may lash out in anger, giving as good as we got, but when we remember the guidance—“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”—we can take a step back, behave in a more helpful way.
In the Christian tradition, the statement comes from Jesus and appears in the middle of a summary of his precepts. Removed from its context, it feels like a reminder to mind our manners. Put back, it is much more. (This is actually true of the similar statements in other religious traditions as well.)
The summary of Jesus teachings in the book of Matthew begins with a series of statements that turn accepted wisdom on its head: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven; blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” In this list, Jesus affirms the merciful, the peacemaker. The whole passage pushes accepted practice toward mercy and justice, towards transformation.
Seen in the context of his whole ministry, Jesus’ version of the golden rule is not just about being polite, saying thank you, not insulting others. Seen from the perspective of the poor and suffering with whom Jesus worked most, we become aware that what is wanted is at least mercy, but even better, justice, a change in circumstances so that suffering is alleviated.
“Treat others with the justice you want to receive” is a lot more than not hitting. It calls us to notice the homeless people in our area, to ask why they are homeless, and to do something about it. Jesus’ golden rule makes us think “I would not like to be homeless, so I cannot ignore those who are homeless.”
There is a story from the life of the apostle Paul that shows how deep this teaching was meant to be. From prison, Paul writes a letter to someone he knows well in Colossae. This is the only private letter of his that was preserved.
Paul is sending a slave back to his owner. Why the slave is with Paul is not clear. Many have assumed that the slave ran away. It is also possible that the slave was loaned to Paul to be a help to him in his journey.
The man has become very dear to Paul. He has clearly been helpful in this difficult time, but also, the man has become a follower of Jesus. Paul’s instruction to the slave’s owner is this: treat this slave the way you would treat me.
That is transformative. Paul is the one who led the slave’s owner into the family of Jesus. Paul writes that the owner owes Paul his very life. He demands that the owner treat the slave with the respect, the sense of debt, the deep honour with which he has treated Paul.
That’s not how the world works in a slave owning society. However, for Paul, because they are now all in the family of Jesus, they are all equal. He says elsewhere that in the church there are no distinctions—Jew or Gentile, male or female, slave or free. The poor, the slave, the child, the woman are to be treated with the same respect and honour the society gives to a great teacher.
Where I worked a few years ago, the food bank was set up like a store. The person who couldn’t afford groceries, could go in and choose for themselves what they wanted. The fact that some people like pasta and others prefer rice was acknowledged. The people in need were honoured and trusted. The need for food was seen, but the need for self esteem and respect were also acknowledged.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is not just a call to be polite, to say thank you, to not hit or insult. It is a call to recognize the deeper needs we all have and to address them.
Cathy Hird lives on the traditional territory of the Saugeen Ojibway nation
