- by Dennis Thomsett
The 40 Knolls were out the Meaford Highway. Out past Bothwell's Creek, past that road to Annan on the left, by the little schoolhouse and right up to the top of that hill. It was the first country road to the right, up by the big Department of Highways igloos. That was The 40 Knolls.
They were a long series of very low hills and valleys so it was like driving over a compressed sine wave. The wavelength of fun.
In the late '40's and early '50's every kid in my neighbourhood on the East Hill knew the concept of parabolic flight producing antigravity. It was simple science and like all good science was reproduce-able. Just get your parents to stuff 5 or 6 little kids in the back of a car and dive over the 40 Knolls. At the top of every little hill, everything in the back seat broke free of gravity and floated in the air. Then again. And again. And again. The secret formula to enhance the experience was to yell: "FASTER. FASTER. FASTER.
Were there really 40 of them? I don't know. As a kid I was too busy breaking the law of gravity and laughing like a maniac. They don't tell you this, the astronauts, but antigravity makes you laugh. And if you can imagine 5 or 6 little kids all laughing that honest, natural, infectious kid laugh, you can see why young working class parents brought their kids out to The 40 Knolls often. Hearing unrestrained kids laughing brings a grin to anyone's face, so in addition to family entertainment, it was probably good couples therapy too.
Of course it couldn't continue. Working class fun that people don't have to pay for never does. There must have been a spy, stealing technology from The East Hill - that despicable cad. Soon after, in the '60's NASA started using the Vomit Comet to create antigravity using parabolic flight principles very similar to The 40 Knolls Effect. A coincidence? I THINK NOT.
Soon afterwards some faceless bureaucrat ordered the total destruction of The 40 Knolls and today there is not a knoll to be found. The road has been graded flat.
If there's a lesson here it is this: If you find some free giggling fun that hurts no-one else, enjoy as much of it as you can. It'll soon be just a warm memory and probably the last time you ever scream: FASTER. FASTER. FASTER.
