By Jon Farmer
Learning to speak a new language is difficult. At least I find it difficult. It's not the mechanics that bother me though; I understand that vocabulary, grammar, and syntax take time to learn. What really frustrates me is my inability to communicate in the meantime. I hate stumbling my way through conversations when I know from the beginning that I don't have the words to communicate what I need to or that I can't really understand what the other person is saying. It's discouraging and sometimes the fear of sounding stupid or accidentally offending someone keeps me from trying to speak at all. I experience the same frustrations in English when I find topics or conversations that I simply don't have the right words to discuss.
Usually, we learn language through example, picking up words and phrases from the conversations around us. Immersion is a powerful tool but it doesn't work when you can't find a teacher or conversations to learn from. Unfortunately our lives are full of complex and difficult topics that we rarely talk about. They're sensitive or stigmatized and surrounded in shame that teaches us to avoid them at all costs because the risks of speaking about them are too high.
Sexual violence is one of those many topics that – as a community and a society – we don't seem to know how to talk about. So we avoid it but there are consequences to the silence that follows; survivors, perpetrators, and their communities are isolated, we teach again that the topic should be avoided, and a shroud of stigma thickens around anything related to the issue.
The trouble is that we can't prevent sexual violence or effectively address its impacts if we can't first discuss it openly and honestly. We do not yet collectively have the language for those kinds of conversations but there are people and organizations across Grey Bruce that are working to help break the silence.
In late 2014 Violence Prevention Grey Bruce began to host an open community discussion series called Into the Open with the goal of creating a space for people in Grey Bruce to discuss sexual violence and possible ways to prevent it in our community. Those community sessions identified many of the complex and interconnected issues that contribute to sexual violence and strategies for creating change. On April 9th, forty people from across Grey Bruce came together to put one of those strategies into action at the latest Into the Open event: a workshop designed to help people express through art what we so often struggle to speak about in words. It was incredible.
A group of adults sat and spoke together about personal struggles, their perspectives on the issue, and the societal beliefs that contribute to sexual violence and prevent those affected from seeking help. After the group discussion, artists facilitated sessions in painting, collage, spoken word, song writing, and screen printing. The participants created work inspired by their experiences and the messages of change they developed together.
The ultimate goal is to end sexual violence but no one believed that a single arts workshop or discussion series would do that. During the discussion one participant said that when it comes to ending sexual violence, "we're a short way down a long road" and that makes every step important.
As a society, we are only beginning to learn how to speak about sexual violence without the fear, judgment, and shame that have kept so many people silent. But every time we make a discussion possible, challenge stereotypes, refuse to make excuses for violence, and show compassion for those affected we take one more step. Yes, the road is long but that only means we have to keep walking. The next Into the Open event will take place at the end of May. See violencepreventiongreybruce.com for the latest information.
