By Cathy Hird

In the ancient Hebrew scriptures, the people in the stories are very human. They make mistakes. They show pride, desire, anger, and yet are faithful with their foibles. In the later Christian scriptures, the disciples who pick up the work of Jesus make a few notable mistakes, but overall they appear strong and saintly. Paul especially is shown as a hero who straightened out problems and charted the course for the future church.

Last Sunday's suggested reading from Paul's second letter to a church leader named Timothy confirmed this impression. Although Paul is a prisoner, he is proud that he made it to Rome, the centre of the empire and he is able to preach his message there. Although he acknowledges that his life is nearing its end, he announces that he has fought the good fight, run the race, and kept the faith. He sounds like an old man looking back on his life with pride. He accomplished his goals without wavering.

When I was preparing for that Sunday, I was curious that the lectionary that suggests the readings for churches across denominations had left out a whole bunch of verses. I went back to read them, and they give a very different impression of the man Paul.

While most of the letter encourages Timothy in his work, here he asks this younger co-worker to come to him in Rome. He sounds alone and lonely as he lists the other disciples who have "deserted" him. Only Luke remained, he says. He asks Timothy to find and bring another disciple called Mark because Mark is of great service. It sounds as if Paul needs help.

He also sounds grumpy. Although he says only Luke remained, at the end of the letter he mentions three others who send Timothy greetings. He isn't completely alone, but he feels abandoned because of those who left.

And he is cold. It is fall, and he presses Timothy to go to Troas and get a cloak he left there, and to arrive before winter.

Next, he complains that a coppersmith named Alexander did him great harm. He warns Timothy to be wary of the man because he strongly opposes their work. He sounds like he is in trouble.

He states that his first court appearance went well, but he is disturbed and disappointed that no one stood up for him. Still, he "was saved from the lion's mouth," safe for the moment, though still a prisoner. His pride shows up again as he declares that he was able to preach the message in full in the centre of the empire.

If we do not read this part of the letter, we get the impression of a perfect saint, a man hard to imitate. But if we read the whole, we see a strong man with ordinary concerns. He had a sense of mission that carried him on, that drove him to keep going. He had a strong faith that allowed him to lean on God whatever happened. But he felt the cold. He felt the burden of the work it took to survive. He felt alone and lonely.

He did good work, and could claim success. He believes God will strengthen and preserve him no matter what happens, but he'd rather endure the struggle with the help of Timothy and Mark, and with a warm cloak.

Without the in-between verses, we will admire Paul, but we may feel how different from him we are. We are not single minded. We have multiple concerns. We get discouraged. We get frustrated. We can't see how to get from here to where we want to be. We can't figure out how to drag others with us when we do see the path.

The left-out verses give us a picture we can relate to. Paul wasn't perfect. He was not unwavering. He needed help. He needed encouragement.

The full picture tells us that it is okay if we get cold. It's okay if we feel frustrated. It's not the end of our mission when we can't find a way to get the work done. When the going gets tough, we reach out for help: for company, for a warm coat, and the support of friends.

Cathy Hird is a farmer, minister, and writer living near Walters Falls.