- by Rebecca Ironmonger

I am Rebecca, I am bi-racial and from Owen Sound, the end of the underground railroad, home of The Emancipation Day Festival which historically is our family reunion since 1862.

The words of Aaron Charbonneau apply to me.  “I appear WHITE. I am not, but I appear white. If you know me well, you will know that I come from a predominantly white side and a predominantly black side. I have an amazing family. On my mother side, we are all mixed. Black, white, brown, and every shade in between. I am not the “whitest” and certainly not the “blackest”. As a kid I had never considered there to be a racial bias in my family, we were all one great family. But now, as I’m sitting here considering white privilege and how it directly affected me, these are my thoughts.“

I remember traveling with my cousins across the border as kids, all heading to church camp, and my brother and I looking distinctly different and I remember the worry that went along with it. We were taught how to respond, how to act and what to say/what not to say. We had to ensure our darker cousins were not suspected of kidnapping a couple of white kids..... And that was just the stress our presence added to the already anxious trip they were used to when crossing the border.

I see from mixed eyes, people expose their racist tendencies to me without knowing what my background is.
I also see how people of colour see me and I can feel them question why am I smiling and greeting them. It hurts me to see that it is foreign to be treated with kindness, to be greeted with a smile.

I’m stuck in a world in between. I love my diversity, I hate the struggle set hard on the shoulders of my cousins and everyone else who suffers from white privilege and racism and police brutality.