The last few Sundays, I have been thinking about a person who wrote letters to the early churches almost two thousand years ago. The man Paul is much admired for the way he shaped the people who followed Jesus' way. The church preserved some of his teaching and treats him as a saint.

But a careful reading of his letters reveals a man with a temper, a person who could get frustrated, someone who struggled to make their point. Looking closely, we see not a saint or a giant of a man, but an ordinary person with gifts and issues.

Curiously, the modern church tries to avoid that. When exploring his second letter to a man named Timothy, the lectionary--a list of assigned readings used in many churches around the world--a whole section is left out.

In the part that is read, Paul says that he is a prisoner, but he is proud that he made it to Rome. Although he acknowledges that he is old, nearing the end of life, he announces that he has fought the good fight, run the race, and kept the faith without wavering: he has preached his message in the centre of the empire. He sounds like an old man looking back on his life with pride.

The left-out verses have a very different tone. While most of the letter encourages Timothy to carry on his teaching work, here he asks this younger co-worker to come to him in Rome. He complains that several disciples have deserted him. Only Luke remained, he says. He asks Timothy to find and bring another disciple called Mark because Mark is of great service. Paul sounds alone and lonely.

The tone is grumpy. Although he says only Luke remained, at the end of the letter he mentions three others who send Timothy greetings. He isn't completely alone, but he feels abandoned because of those who "deserted" him.

And he is cold. It is fall, and he presses Timothy to go to Troas and get a cloak he left there, and to arrive before winter.

Next, he complains that a coppersmith named Alexander did him great harm. He warns Timothy to be wary of the man. He sounds troubled and worried.

He states that his first court appearance went well, but he is disturbed and disappointed that no one stood up for him. Still, he "was saved from the lion's mouth," is safe for the moment, though still a prisoner. His pride shows up again as he declares that he was able to preach the message in full in the centre of the empire.

If we do not read this part of the letter, we get the impression of a perfect saint. But if we read the whole, we see a strong man with problems and weaknesses. He had a strong sense of his mission, and he needed it to face his challenges. He had a strong faith that allowed him to lean on God whatever happened, but he felt the burden of the work it took to survive. He felt the cold. He felt alone and lonely.

He did good work and could claim success. He states that God will strengthen and preserve him no matter what happens, but he'd rather endure the struggle with the help of Timothy and Mark, and with a warm cloak.

Without the in-between verses, we will admire Paul, but we may feel how different from him we are. We are not single minded. We have multiple concerns. We get discouraged. We get frustrated. We can't see how to get from here to where we want to be. We can't figure out how to drag others with us when we do see the path.

The left-out verses give us a picture we can relate to. Paul wasn't unwavering. He needed help. He needed encouragement.

The full picture tells us that it is okay if we get cold. It's okay if we feel frustrated. It's not the end of our mission when we can't figure out a way to get the work done. When the going gets tough, we reach out for help, for company, for the support of friends, and for the comfort of a warm coat.

Cathy Hird is a farmer, minister, and writer living near Walters Falls.