Aging out. This is a simple phrase that hides a maze of problems. Unless directly affected, you might not know what it refers to. If you have been a child ward of the state you know. If you have a special needs child, you know. And if you work with people in either field, it is a wall you have run into.

I first woke up to this reality when I worked in Montreal. A girl I will call Melissa came to the shelter. She was nineteen. She had ended up between housing options and between jobs. Getting her resettled took a little longer than the three weeks women were supposed to stay, so we all got to know her quite well.

Melissa had been removed from her birth family by Children's Aid at a very young age. She did not know the story of that first home. She became a ward of the province and was placed in foster care where she was abused. Eventually, she was placed in a caring home until she turned eighteen.

Then, she aged out of care. Children's Aid is for children. You are only a ward, with other people making decisions for you, until you are legally an adult. Then, the funding stops for the family. You are on your own.

Remember being eighteen, where you lived, what you were doing, how often you turned to your parents for support before getting settled on your own.

Melissa found a place to live and got connected to workers who would support her as they could. Mostly, she was on her own, trying to make her way through the maze of city life.

One of the staff at the shelter had also grown up in a series of foster homes. She'd aged out of care about eight years earlier. At this point, she had a job and a good apartment. Having built up a solid resume, she was headed in a good direction. She had a community of friends she trusted, but she had no family to catch her if she hit a rough patch.

These kids do become adults and have the right to make their own decisions. But as a society, we have a responsibility once we decide that we know how to care for a child better than their family. With that tie cut, our responsibility should not just end. That's what social assistance can help with. That's what grants for post-secondary education can help with. This is one of the reasons that all the cuts our provincial government is making are a big problem.

The other kind of "aging out" that I've run into is the special needs child who finishes high school. The age limit is twenty-one. Until then, accommodation is made in elementary school and high school to provide support and appropriate education. This means that parents are free to work during the day. The child is cared for and helped to develop to the extent of their abilities.

Summer can be long for these children and their families. Holidays are times when there is extra work at home to care for them. But when they "age out" of school, support and planning is needed for the whole day, the whole week.

In Owen Sound, Community Living has provided support and programs, workers to accompany youth and adults. Volunteers run Special Olympics programs to keep people active and provide social interaction.

A few years ago, a new program called "Reach" organized day programs for adults with special needs. Recently, the former curling club was donated to this group to provide a center. I am sure they will need support to make this a reality, so I will be watching for their fundraising initiatives.

A couple years ago, Georgian College brought a program for special needs adults to the local site. This program provides a space for education to continue for people who cannot just slip into the work force.

There are children with complex needs who don't fit Reach or the Georgian College program. When these children "age out" of school, a whole network of support is needed for them and their families.

In our society, looking after children is a priority. We've also made care for seniors a priority. But people are expected to look after themselves for fifty or sixty years. For some, this is a real challenge. We need to be more attentive to the support that is needed for healthy stable living in between.

Cathy Hird lives on the shore of Georgian Bay.